From Emma B.
Dear Oberlin family,
I have just gotten back from Hans' funeral and wanted to write you all immediately to share the spirit of it with you. I am going to just start from the very beginning. My sister and I arrived very early to the University Lutheran Chapel. It was pouring raining, which somehow seemed appropriate, and we arrived to a small group of Hans' closest relatives, including his brother, sister, and sister-in-law, crying together. By 4pm, the church was packed with about two hundred people, including a handful of Oberlin friends.
The service was beautiful, so Hans, with many anecdotes and even a slideshow with photos of him. Over and over people commented on Hans' kindness, the way in which he would give people his undivided attention, his great concern for others and broad social problems. They also spoke about much lighter topics, such as his constant lateness, his ability to get so off task when given a simple project, and his fondness of running around scantily clad. There were three reflections: Cat Bodnar, a current housemate and former Oberlin student told a funny story about the time she asked Hans to move her car from the driveway to the street. She said that for anyone else, that would be a simple task, but Hans realized one of the car windows was broken, so he dismantled the entire car door and then proceeded to fix the window. I think we all could probably tell a similar story about Hans. Carl Petersen and Thea Petersen, Hans' brother and sister, gave a very, very moving reflection. Carl talked about growing up with Hans and how much he loved and admired him. He also talked about some of Hans' difficulties, and about how he never quite knew his own self-worth. He never felt that he deserved others' love. Thea talked about how much she admired Hans as the big brother. Lastly, the Rev. Dr. Phyllis Anderson, president of PLTS spoke very beautifully about how loved Hans was and about how many memorial services there are just filled with grief. She had just flown in from the church where Hans' father preached in Orange County, and when she talked about the service this morning, Hans' dad became very emotional.
There was a point in the service in which the priest asked for short anecdotes about Hans. The first person who spoke was Hans' dad who said that Hans was a joyful kid and that he loved magic tricks. He said that he and his wife used to hold up a sheet for Hans when friends were over to hide him while he performed his magic. Another person from the church spoke of seeing him this Palm Sunday at church, catching eyes with Hans, and that he gave him that Hans smile in the middle of the service. He said he would always cherish that smile. And lastly, someone said that Hans was so passionate about making the world a better place. She said, "May we all continue his work."
At the end of the service, there was a reception downstairs but I did not stay because there were so many family and friends and I didn't feel like I knew many people. Before we left, I saw one man wearing a Solar City shirt over his black clothes so I assume he worked with Hans.
The whole service, I kept remembering ECO, the way Hans always came late to ECO, would find some tiny space to fit his body in, and then would subtly smile and say hi to everyone in the room as we had our meeting. He was so thoughtful and so well-intentioned. He really wanted to do good. The priest reminded the congregation today that God does not want us to try to cover up any hole where Hans was, nor should we. There is a gap there and it's uncomfortable. He also acknowledged just how tragic this was- Hans died suddenly and he really was not done living. What does one do with that? One of the main things that made this funeral so incredibly emotional was that everyone was grappling with that same question. Many people in the church had seen Hans within the last two weeks.
I cried a lot during the service but now feel some peace. Not peace with Hans' sudden death, but peace that his spirit continues on in so many people. He was loved by many, many people and we are struggling together to pick up the pieces.
Below are some of the technical pieces of information from the program, I know Father Brian wanted to know about the music and I'm just going to include these things in case you are interested.
Love,
Emma
Music & Readings:
"Joyous Light of Heavenly Glory" (from Holden Village Evening Prayer),
by Marty Haugen
"All Are Welcome" (ELW 641), by Marty Haugen
First Reading: Isaiah 25: 6-9
"In Deepest Night" (ELW 699), by Susan Palo Cherwien
Second Reading: 2 Timothy 4: 6-8
"Alleluia! Jesus Is Risen!" (ELW 377)
Gospel: John 14: 1-7, 25-27
"My Life Flows on in Endless Song" (ELW 763)
"Shepherd Me, O God" (ELW 780)
"Neither Death nor Life" (ELW 622)
"Lord, Thee I Love with All My Heart" (ELW 750)
